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TRACK #16 PREVIEW - "Alligator Arms"
07.19.2012

CHICKEN BOXER, TRACK 16. "Alligator Arms"

We had a laugh writing this one; Pat, Ryan and myself on my screen porch, dredging up old memories. The tradition back home when you are out drinking with your mates is to buy in rounds; just one person goes to the bar and buys a drink for everyone in the group, and at the next bar someone else in the group will buy until everyone has taken their turn. This is a great system when there are 5 or 6 of you, but not so good (depending on your perspective) when there are 4 or 7. A quick head count will soon tell you what kind of night you are in for:  If there are 7 then, yes, you will be drinking 7 pints ("EVERYONE MUST BUY A ROUND" remember, it's the rules!); if there are 4 it's even worse, because you invariably head into the 5th bar and it starts all over again, 8 pints! Now the odd missed round is forgiven, but never forgotten (which is ironic because most of us are usually too pissed to remember our names). We all know these people; their hands don't quite seem to reach to their pockets, always last through the pub door, always in the bathroom when it's time for their "round." If it becomes a habit there are many subtle ways of casually reminding that person that they better "stand a round" or that it's their "shout,"  as we say.  For example, pointing to them in a crowded pub and yelling - "OI! ALLIGATOR ARMS, IT'S YOUR EFFIN' ROUND!"

- Twigger

 

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE PREVIEW  

 

Lyrics:

Whose round, is it anyway?
I paid, just the other day.
You know that, it's really not that hard,
All you got to do is, pull out your credit card.
You call yourself a friend of mine,
But I am paying all the time,
When it's time to drop some dough,
You're the one that's always slow.
You say that itís not that youíre cheap,
Itís your arms are too short and your pockets are too deep.
 
Chorus
Itís your alligator arms, your arms, your arms,
Youíve got alligator arms.
Itís your alligator arms, your arms, your arms,
Youíve got alligator arms.
 
My mother, thinks that you're a saint,
Everybody else, we all know you aint.
My sister, has a crush on you,
I bet she'd change her mind, if she only knew.
The bill arrives, you're never found,
Get to the bar and stand your round,
Just once why don't you volunteer,
Get up and buy us all a beer!
You say that itís not that youíre cheap,
Itís your arms are too short and your pockets are too deep.
 
Chorus
 
You really, don't seem to have a clue,
We don't want to hang out, or go to bars with you.
Your wallet, must have a lock and key,
Or maybe you just think that everything in life is free.
Were not asking for a yacht,
We just want a whiskey shot,
A beer or vodka would be fine,
A cocktail or a glass of wine!
 
Chorus

Iím telling you, Iím telling you, Iíll tell you this is what I think;
It's time to cowboy up and buy us all a drink.
We all agree, it's got to be your shout,
You better belly-up, and get your money out.
When it comes to drinking you're the man,
You drink more than a camel can,
You're like a frickin' reservoir,
You knock Ďem back like Johnny Tarr!
You say that itís not that youíre cheap,
Itís your arms are too short and your pockets are too deep.
 
Chorus

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01.18.2012
04.07.2011
08.03.2010

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